Tags
Conclusion, Darth Vader, Episode VI, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Return of The Jedi, Star Wars, The Force Awakens
B
“Gee yersel tae the darkside. It’s the only wiy tae save yer pals.”
I really want to give this a higher grade, I really do. I certainly consider it a classic and a worthy successor to the two masterpieces it follows, nonetheless I have to be truthful when giving constructive criticism and thus a B is as high as I can go. Earnestly a consequence of there being detrimental pacing issues throughout, and I mean ultra-detrimental. If that’s even a term. In all honesty, I’d happily give the entire Luke and Vader drama an A+. That’s arguably the most compelling viewing in the entire saga, at least in my eyes. (EDIT: It is) It’s a climax of the highest quality, and the payoff is certainly worth the movies long run time and doesn’t fall flat once, which is easier said than done. With this said, Ewoks. Fucking Ewoks. I don’t hate them as much as others do, and they certainly aren’t Jar Jar Binks, but they pose an issue that would enrage us intellectuals for decades to come. Yes I just said that. After two exhausting instalments, George Lucas decided that the fanbase would much rather want to see teddy bears fighting the Gestapo-and not something worthwhile-so that’s what he gave us. Thanks George. (Out of curiosity, is it a hipster thing yet in which it’s cool to like that bastard Binks?) I’ll start with this film’s only glaring hinderance, then take a look at what I love. And I do love it.
It’s pretty well know trivia, but the original title was Revenge of the Jedi. Lucas changed this, citing the reason that “Jedi’s don’t seek revenge.” I think it’s a pretty fucking neat title. Oh, and look at the colour of the respective lightsabers.
The subplot with Han, Leia and the Ewoks is something which frustrates the so called hardcore. I see it, I really do. It certainly frustrates the fuck out of this writer. But I don’t mind them…really. The Ewoks, I mean. They certainly aren’t cute though, like most defences claim. R2 is cute. Warwick Davis is not cute. He was a dick to Ricky Gervias in Extras, in case you want evidence. Apparently hitting a dwarf (in self defence, I must add) is not acceptable. But whatever. The amount of screen time dedicated to them defeating stormtroopers is simply irritating, and as far as affecting the quality of the film; it does so greatly. They would actually work too, for more than a cheap promotional ploy, if they weren’t overused. That’s another problem, and I’m going to feel like that smart bastard in the class that no one likes because of this, but the Ewoks reflected the growing commercialisation of Star Wars. I’m not saying that such a thing didn’t exist before hand, I’m just not that naive. But cards on the table guys, did George Lucas give us the Ewoks because they were the Rebellions answer to Stormtrooper genocide, or did he want us to buy the teddies and McDonalds Happy Meals?
Sometimes less is more, and in the case of the Ewoks this rings true. Lucas would later fall into this trap of over-saturation with the aforementioned Jar Jar Binks in Episode I and we all know how that ended. “Meesa so stupid.” Yes Jar Jar, yes you are. On the other hand, and as cheesy as it sounds, I liked the reversal of the “I know” quote from Empire, with Leia getting to look like a smooth bastard for a change. If you’ve ever saw me watch the finale of The Office (UK, I’m not as keen on the American remake I’m afraid) you’ll know that I’m a sucker for soppy endings and Han and Leia were the accident couple that ended up defining the saga.
Two Ricky Gervias references in the past two paragraphs. Oh my word. In fact I seem to mention him a lot in these things. Why did he make Derek again? Because he loves animals and celebrities. That’s why.
Now onto something better (and more relevant) and discuss the good stuff. I could easily fill this with darkside and lightside puns, but I’m better than that and if you read any review that does do that, then do your eyes a favour and don’t. As far as the original trilogy is concerned, Return of the Jedi has the best opening. Comfortably. Consequently, that results in it being the best opening sequence of any Star Wars film and this includes Hope and Empire. Ok, at forty minutes it might be a bit drawn out, and it made about as much sense as anybody but Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes. There I go again. Notwithstanding this is frankly an awesome opening to any film. Being a proud Scottish lad and an owner of at least the average amount of brain cells, I tend to avoid that word. With this in mind, here it is more than appropriate. It’s special word used only for special occasions. It acts as a way of showing the viewer that Luke isn’t the wee guy who spends his free time at Tosche Station picking up some power converters. He’s now a Jedi. He now picks up babes.
The recently discovered deleted scene (I don’t think it’s too recent, mind you) in which Luke constructs his lightsaber is not universally celebrated, and it’s something I certainly suggest looking up on Youtube right away. As cool as it is, I’m happy it got cut. I mean, it’s all about that split second when our hero is facing certain (and quite prolonged, like 1000 years) death, that Luke gives the now famous fuck you to Jabba The Hutt and reveals his green lightsaber. As I will explain in the caption below, this was done for practical reasons and not financial. Although I had a green lightsaber. Fuck you Lucasfilm. Seriously though,this is quality stuff. With this said, it’s time to get onto the real good stuff about Return of the Jedi. And the stuff that is good is very good.
The word on the street is that Luke’s weapon in this was to be blue, as it was in the previous instalments. In order to contrast with the sky during the scenes on Tatooine, however, Lucas decided to change it to green. It was not, as I originally thought, that Lucas was a fan of the Glasgow Celtic. Damn.
The portion of the film focused on Luke, Vader and Sidious is most certainly unsurpassed, at least with regards to drama. Ian McDiarmid deserves particular praise, he makes the role his own, not as easy task when up against two highly popular and well established characters. He’s also (and obviously) indispensable for creating a stark contrast with Vader, suggesting that “hey, maybe this guy can be a goodie!” He’s that evil, and it works wonders. Depending on who you ask, this could be a collection of the greatest scenes in the saga. It’s just fucking compelling. I mean, there isn’t that moment in which you go “oh my, Luke might turn.” You know why? Because we’re too smart. We don’t allow ourselves to just indulge in what we’re watching. If we did, it would be much easier to appreciate the passages in Return of the Jedi which deserve the mantra of masterpiece, and not just the flower girl to the bride and groom.
Vader finding out he has a daughter works better than it really has any right too, retrospectively. I’ll discuss what I think about that twist later on. When he says “maybe she will” in relation to Leia turning to the darkside, it releases that dormant anger in Luke that we’ve been waiting for since he trained with Yoda in Empire Strikes Back. It’s similar to Gohan in Dragonball Z, you know it’s there but the catalyst to set it off needs to be just right, otherwise the entire effort comes across as fruitless. Additionally, it helps build up drama in any future instalments, demonstrating that even the biggest goodie goodie two shoes in the galaxy can go a bit nuts if his buttons are pushed. Sorry if I seem more indulgent than a Quentin Tarantino movie, I’m trying really hard.
I typed “Luke goes mental” into Google Images and didn’t get the result I had hoped for. Having said that, this is a pretty good gauge for the sheer quality of these scenes.
Ah the twist! Isn’t that an interesting point of discussion. Especially when read in the context of the previous films. I’ve referenced this quite a bit before if you’ve been paying attention. Luke and Leia are twins! Wow, that’s not creepy at all. Oh no wait, it is. In the previous film, when Yoda declares “there is another”, he is most certainly referring to Leia, the other hope for the galaxy should Luke fail. Additionally, at the climax of Empire, it is also hinted that Luke and Leia have a rare connection, which is good for Luke because otherwise he would be fucked. Why then, with knowledge of the revelation at such an early stage, were they so insistent on showing us a rather prolonged snog between the two of them when Luke is reduced in the opening scenes of Empire Strikes Back? What’s worse, when Luke reveals to Leia what should be groundbreaking news, she just shrugs it off like it is nothing. “Somehow I’ve always known.” Incest. Sick, sick bastards. Furthermore, it feels like a twist for the sake of a twist; something Roger Ebert would later refer to as “Keyser Soze syndrome.” I take contention with that theory, however it’s certainly applicable to this example. It feels as if Lucas wanted to top the Vader/Luke revelation in the previous film, and it kind of falls flat. It’s there now, and as stated it certainly enhances the finale when Luke gets the opportunity to just go fucking mental, so ye know, every cloud.
I have to admit, it has certainly written itself into Star Wars folklore and the Luke, Leia and Vader fan fictions out there are more than enough to put even the most vibrant sex pests off masturbating forever.
Yes, even these guys.
I’ve really enjoyed writing these, and I would like to thank everybody who has given them a chance. They might not be eloquent or even decent, but I just hope that everyone can have a little bit of fun. As much as I love them, it’s only Star Wars and it’s there for just that; fun. I might do the prequel trilogy, it depends on how I feel these have been received, but I will most certainly be reviewing The Force Awakens.(EDIT: I don’t want lynched before Christmas, so I’ll do it afterwards.) Goodbye.
I’ll leave you with this. It’s obvious, but sometimes the obvious is funnier. Right?
“Oh Jack, draw me like on of your Jabba slaves?”
Connor Keegan 